Dream XI: Boro’ Valentines

Updated:

By Pete H

Like the best greetings card makers, we can dole out some contrived crap for 14 February – like a team full of Boro’ valentines. In some ways, it makes sense for us to do so. After all, supporting Stevenage is a labour of love… and it’s unconditional. You cannot change your football team once you catch the bug. And of all the guys to turn out for us over the years, here is a full starting XI of loved-up cherubs – complete (not really) with bow and arrow.

11 dream Boro’ Valentines…

1. Chris (VALENTINE’S) DAY
The thing that sets Chris Day apart was he was there to make the save. That's all. Just save the ball.

We’re not off to a good start, we grant you. In need of a goalkeeper, we went with the only man who could get us out of a hole. And that’s Sir Christopher Day, a man who could work with any festive holiday or occasion. So, yeah, let’s pretend his middle name is Valentine’s for this one and say no more about it. We’ve got better ones to come…

2. Lawrence HONEY
Lawrence Honey

A name doesn’t come any sweeter, even if we’re not so inclined to use ‘honey’ as a term of endearment ourselves. It’s a bit too American for our liking. Still, a worthy inclusion at full-back in our team of Valentines; Honey’s appearance tally stretched well into double figures by the time his time at the club came to an end after three seasons.

3. Michael LOVE
As the great Boro' side of the mid-1990s broke apart, we needed new talismen for a new era – and Michael Love was one of them

It was tempting to include Michael Love 11 times over and be done with it. No other guy in Boro’ history has such a Valentines-appropriate name. And what it makes us think of is all the lost opportunities for terrace anthems… “Love Is All You Need”, “Love Is All Around”, “I Would Do Anything For Love”, and “Bleeding Love” (when he got injured). We could go on – but we don’t think we need to. We believe in a thing called Love…

4. Grant WED-lock

Not quite ’til death us do part; midfielder Grant Wedlock is another one of our youth team members in the mid-1990s. The 1994-5 campaign saw him earn the first three of his six first team appearances, before the following season returned the other three. All of his outings were from the first minute – no substitute happenings there. Mind you, there was one time he made the bench and didn’t appear. Anyway, that was his lot and the last we saw of him.

5. Peter H(E)ART-ley
Embed from Getty Images

A summer 2013 signing, Boro’ paid some actual cash to land Peter Hartley; a fairly versatile left-sided defender by all accounts. It was the first chance for Graham Westley Mk III to get his League One squad how he wanted it after replacing Gary Smith a few months before. In the end, we would end up somewhat heartbroken when we were relegated back to League Two. Hartley carried some of the can for it too; released at the end of that campaign.

6. Ray BEAU-mont

The time Ray Beaumont spent at Boro’ could probably be likened to a summer romance (if summer happened in February) or a short fling. The defender joined us from rivals-at-the-time Vauxhall Motors (Luton) in February 1990. In his 11 starts and one sub appearance, he was only on the losing side twice. Alas, we ended up short of promotion by the end of the 1989-90 season – and this particular beau never turned out for us again.

7. Danny HUG-gins

Who doesn’t like a hug; a warm, gentle embrace – especially on a chilly February night? The problem, if you want to make it one, is that Danny Huggins didn’t really do much during his time at Broadhall Way. A member of our youth side during the 1995-6 campaign, the player made two substitute appearances – both against Watford in the Herts Senior Cup. And that was his lot. He later turned out for Arlesey Town and Biggleswade Town.

8. Harry BEAUTY-man
With a name like Harry Beautyman, it's no surprise this midfielder is one of our Boro' valentines...

Not just a true beauty, but a “real trier”; the label given to midfielder Harry Beautyman by boss Darren Sarll didn’t quite tally with the eventual reality. For whatever reason, it’s fairly obvious that things didn’t work out for him at the Lamex. Arriving in summer 2017, he only made 12 starts and two sub outings before departing the club; joining former team Sutton United halfway through the 2017-8 campaign.

9. Danny ROSE
Danny Rose: A striker by any other name would look as sweet.
Photo: Jim Steele

A striker by any other name would look as sweet; Danny Rose is a handsome-looking chap and has a name that definitely fits the Valentines vibe. Indeed, it was a bit of a shock (and quite the kick in the teeth) to discover that Rose would be moving on just after the 2023-4 started. To be fair, it was understandable too. He was a long way from home and the move north to Grimsby Town suited his circumstances. It’s better to have loved and lost…

10. Danny DANCE
In a time before Hayles, Moro and Alford, there was Danny Dance; the original hotshot striker for Boro' who had two spells with the club during the 1980s

In a thematic sense, this is one of our weakest picks. But, when it comes to footballing picks, few are better up top than Danny Dance; one of Boro’s first icons back in the early 1980s. The 48 goals he scored at a rate of nearly one every two games is enough to make you fall in love with him. As a second reason for including him, all we can hear in our head at the moment is Enrique Iglesias: “Would you dance if we asked you to Dance?”

11. Lu-KISS Akins
Embed from Getty Images

Back to the poetic licence and here we have one of the few players to emerge from the Gary Smith era with any credit; Akins finishing the 2012-3 campaign as our top goalscorer. Despite penning a new deal in May 2014, the powerful forward moved to Burton Albion that summer. And with it he blew us a kiss goodbye and was on his way. With the Brewers, he’d go onto do bigger and better things; specifically play in the Championship.

Leave a comment