Grimsby Town v Stevenage: Inspector Grim

 Grimsby Town v Stevenage: Inspector Grim

And here we are, once again. It’s been another bruising week for the Goals Against column, but at least it was up against Premier League opposition. Not haughty, hoity, stick it up your toity, high and mighty, tight-nosed, toffee-arsed, sun-dried-tomato-eating lah-de-dah-dy lah-de-daas from League Two. We now know for sure that Stoke City can – in fact – do “it” on a nice warm night in the Home Counties. And we also found out that Peter Crouch is still a Premier League footballer too. This is stuff that you simply can’t learn in the classroom.

But, seriously kidz, stay in school and just say no, yeah?

Next up for Stevenage, it’s a sober reminder of the feeble existence we lead on a big old rock hurtling through space. Yes, we are making tracks for Grimsby – a town voted as the worst place to live in England. Of course, the obvious lure of its tourism sector is something we’ll have to come back to another day. This is a journey of discovery that we’re embarking on in all that is holy about the League Two fixture calendar. And with it, not for the first time this week, comes a little bit of history – the first time that Grimsby Town and us have ever met.


Grimsby Town v Stevenage: Grim Up North…

It’s almost surprising that we’ve never played Grimsby Town before. Almost. The Mariners, like Darlington, dropped down to the Conference at the end of the same season we won the Conference. It took them six attempts to get back, failing at the playoff stage three years on the bounce before (finally) getting it right last season. And here they are. Sitting a point and a position behind us in the League Two table, with one win from their opening four fixtures. Like us. But! If the table was sorted on goals scored, instead than points, Grimsby would be sixth.

At the back, they’ve conceded as many as us. So, it could be a veritable goalfest this weekend. Or a bore draw.

The table is, of course, still taking shape. Pundits like to use the term “embryonic” at this stage of affairs, because the league table looks so much like the division of cells and formation of life it’s uncanny. The Mariners have lost their last four games on the spin, having started life back in the League with a 2-0 win over current leaders Eric Morecambe. Our one win, as you all ought to know, came against then-leaders Luton Town. It’s bonkers, innit? Like a fat cat, spinning his web with his tentacles in every pie. Oh yes, just like that. Dizzee Rascal bonkers.

Grimsby Town v Stevenage. It’s a picture – League Two stats from Kick Off:

Grimsby Town v Stevenage: Stats "Grimsby

BoroGuide’s Grimsby Town club profile – our arse is on the line and we don’t want a cock up…