Goals are kinda important, don’t you think? You can’t win without ’em, that’s for sure. And we’ve seen a fair number of them over the years – no thanks to Liam George or Tony Thorpe, however. Some goals have been more important than others; y’know, like when Robbie got the hundredth back in 1996. You can also bet your bottom dollar that some goals have been more spectacular than others – and that got our creative juices flowing.
We’ve decided to round up 10 of the best goals – that we can remember, at least. And we definitely ain’t saying you’ll be hard pushed to find better goals than these. After all, we’re sure that Martin Gittings didn’t score all of his 215-odd goals off his right arse cheek from three yards out. Danny Dance, Jim Beech, the Marshalls and the rest… yeah, between them will be a pearler or two. We get that. We just weren’t there to tell that particular tale.
And no, Ben May is not in this list either.
1. Carl Alford v Hayes – 17 August 1998
Now, we think this is against Hayes. The video is tagged Halesowen and we never played them, so we’re guessing. But it looks like it was this Monday night game from 1998. Carl Alford was, let’s say, larger than most strikers – you noticed the difference when he was paired up top with Chris Pearson. But he was agile beyond belief, and he loved a bicycle kick. So much so that he scored one against us in the 2002 FA Trophy final. Yeah, cheers Carl…
2. Mark Roberts v Altrincham – 28 February 2009
G-Wezzle’s Boro’ were on a three-month unbeaten stretch and we weren’t about to let Altrincham ruin that, despite Colin Little’s first half pelanty. Andy Drury bagged the leveller after 72 minutes, but it seemed as if the win – on this occasion – would be beyond us. And yet, you can’t bet against Captain Marvel chancing his swinger with a half-volley 25 yards out and finding the top left hand corner. Gadzooks – it was proper bo, we tell thee…
3. Luke Freeman v Bradford City – 1 March 2014
The 2013-4 highlights DVD would probably go down like a lead balloon if you handed it to one of your loved ones this Christmas, but it’d be unfair to dismiss the campaign as a complete write-off. Not when there were strikes like this from Luke Freeman. It followed the standard narrative – look up, gesture as if to say “who do I pass to” and then let it rip past the despairing, full-length dive of the home goalkeeper. Textbook.
4. Jean-Michel Sigere v Barnet – 25 March 2002
Sometimes, just sometimes, JM Sigere flattered to deceive in a Stevenage shirt. He could often frustrate, but at least placated that with the odd goal – unlike others before and since. None of those goals, however, would prove as mercurial as this one against the Bees. With Boro’ trying to bounce back from a 6-1 drubbing at Farnborough, Siggy doubled the hosts’ lead by flicking the ball up and over a centre back, before realigning his body to drill an unstoppable low drive past Harrison. C’est bloody magnifique…
5. Martin Williams v Northwich Victoria, 22 April 2002
If Siggy was frustrating, Martin Williams was even more so. With his pace and power, he could be a right handful for opponents – but we didn’t get to witness that often enough. For an indication of what Willo could do, look no further than this goal against Northwich. He picked it up on the left flank, before beating a handful of defenders and unleashing a stunning, curling right-foot effort from 25 yards past the helpless Paul Gibson. You could well argue that a goal of such quality had no place being in a match as woeful as this one, and we’d agree with you.
6. George Boyd v Cambridge United – 2 January 2006
George Boyd was a bit good. Well, he still is to be fair. And he treated us to at least 10 wonder goals of his own during his time at Stevenage. It’s hard for us to not properly recognise even half of those, but the one we’ve chosen here is surely worth mentioning on its own? OK, we can’t quite be sure what the commentator refers to as a “typical Stevenage Borough goal” in this – we weren’t scoring these every week, y’know, even if our Boydie was capable of them. Just sit back and admire the audacity and execution in this one against Cambridge.
7. John Mousinho v Torquay United – 28 May 2012
“An Old Trafford cracker” was how this one was described by the Sky Sports commentator – though he needed two attempts to say it. If you are going to get yourselves promoted, you might as well get it done with a 25-yarder at Old Trafford. We’re a particular fan of this goal because the way in which it was scored made a mess of the idea that Stevenage were an exclusively direct team in the 2010/1 League Two season. It’s not a shabby way to break your duck against Torquay United either – six games without a win and four without a goal, if you were counting.
8. Michael Bostwick v Newcastle United, 8 January 2012
Michael Bostwick could kick a ball. He could kick a ball hard. He could kick a ball in a straight line. If it weren’t for these three vital factors, we wouldn’t be wasting our time rambling on about this goal. Bossie had already given Tim Krul a sighter in the Newcastle United goal during the first half of this FA Cup epic, but he made no mistake with the second. After the ball broke loose from a challenge 20 yards out, Bossie fired up the Quattro (or his leg) and thworked the ball in off the post. Only Cheick Tiote’s lunge and the punch that floored Lairdy had more bite.
9. George Boyd v Northwich Victoria – 10 April 2004
Oh, hello – it’s George Boyd again. We made no secret of the fact that we could put together a countdown of corkers from Boydie alone – and in the end, we settled for the inclusion of two. And this one was perhaps better than his Cambridge volley. Dean Brennan sprayed a Simon Walton-esque ball from deep to Jon Brady wide on the right. With no room to control the ball, Brady somehow contrived a volleyed cross to the far post and the waiting George Boyd, who volleyed home in kind. All within five seconds…
10. Joel Byrom v Crawley Town – 27 March 2010
Is it a cop out to choose a goal scored from this distance? Not to us, especially if there’s a goalkeeper standing in the way. Audacious? No doubt – you don’t just hit the ball from 50-odd yards and expect it to fly in. Trust us, we’ve tried and failed miserably – either ballooning it 50 yards back in the other direction, or simply just failing to make the goal in the first place. You can see why we’re taken by this one…
And there you have it. Our pick of 10 of the best Stevenage goals. Now do try to remember that we’re not claiming these to be the best when you’re raining death threats upon our ever-so-humble heads on Twitter. But please do feel free to politely remind us of the ones we missed – our memories aren’t what they used to be…