LocoMotion Record Cover - Not KylieEverybody’s doing the brand new dance now; come on baby, do the Zoko-Motion” – The motion we’re talking about is the one where you stick out a foot, a head or a bum and make the ball go into the goal. Football is a sport that seems so simple when you think about it at face value, but we’ve spent the past few decades confusing it all with talk of zonal marking; false 9s and having 22 bloody players on the pitch.

Francois Zoko’s goal against MK Dons wasn’t the most picturesque and won’t win any goal of the year competition. But it shows how easy football can be, poking a foot towards the ball and making the goalkeeper look like a egit. It’s hard not to admire those who can instinctively judge the power and accuracy needed to score. BoroGuide is not renowned for this. At all.

The win against the Karl Robinson All Stars XI feels worryingly like a rebirth. The signings of Zoko and Bruno Andrade, along with the impact that Filipe Morais and Lucas Akins had on their respective returns to the team, bode well for Boro’. But Brentford – hmmm, they’re a good team. Have we turned the corner enough for this weekend to not be another painful league outing? Let’s hold fire on that one for the time being.

Luke Freeman and Michael Doughty have shared 10 bookings between them equally so far this season and, therefore, are obliged to miss this particular encounter. We’d put Andrade and Dunne in there (assuming Heslop would retain his place in the team) and we’re pretty sure you’ll be in agreement that it’s the most likely scenario for dealing with the absentees. Unless, perhaps, you’re GW and hold the power.

Since borking up their automatic promotion prospects last season, Brentford aren’t exactly looking as if they’ve recovered from their harrowing experiences. Four victories in the past 10 games isn’t a terrific record (let’s not sniff at it mind, we’re hardly in a position to crow). We’re not pinning our hopes on a classic tomorrow, but we are rather more hopeful that it won’t be a fifth straight league defeat. E-I-E-I-E-I-O and all that...

FIFA14 Verdict:
Boro’ Starting Line-up:
Day; Smith, Ashton, Hartley, Roarasaurus; Morais, Heslop, Tansey, Dunne, Akins; Tounkara

Hmmm, well even we’re embarrassed by this one. After showing early signs of promise, it started to get hairy at the back – no more epitomised than by Roarie Deacon smashing his attempted clearance off Chris Day and into the net after 12 minutes. A further 10 minutes down the line, more bad defending saw Peter Hartley concede a pelanty and the Brentford lad made no mistake from the spot.

Boro’ kept their spirits high though, and created a couple of openings. Into the second half, the bulk of the attacking play came from the hosts but Brentford continued to hold firm. It looked as if the game was up until Lucas Akins slotted home on 86 minutes to keep things in the balance. Tired legs came into play and Boro’ just couldn’t create the opening needed to square things up. FT: Stevenage 1-2 Brentford.

* After FIFA14 got round to adding Zoko and Andrade, we replayed this one and fortunes improved drastically. Boro’ were the better team and created the better chances, though it can’t be said they were clear-cut chances. As the game wore on, the hosts couldn’t keep up the creativity but retained plenty of territory. In the end, it finished 0-0.

Bookie Bashing:
We’re looking at the money movements on a Friday afternoon and surprise, surprise – it is all following Brentford at this point. But that’ll mean you’ll be quids in on the Boro’ win – a very tempting 16/5 at Will Hill might keep you in truffles and Prosecco this month. If you like a first goalscorer, Zoko is still hanging out at 8s with Sky Bet. We’d also have a look at Over 2.5 goals for this one too. At the time of writing…

Team Tarot:

Brentford Team